Splurging, Scarcity Mindset, and San Francisco

Plus, the *best* travel pants.

Early this morning, I took the Basic Economy 7:30AM flight from Atlanta to San Francisco, a flight I magically found during peak season for just $225. But due to an unfortunate turn of events the previous evening, my husband couldn’t drop me off to the airport as intended—instead, I needed to Lyft, paying $30 for an excruciating 5:40AM pickup.

Upon landing at SFO, I knew I’d have to Lyft again, this time to my friend Alyssa’s home just outside Golden Gate Park. The ever-rising estimates stressed me out: Oh no, it’s going to be another $30+ when I already spent $30 unplanned, I tallied in my head.

But alas, there was not much choice with my two bags in tow and a doubly long wait time on public transit. So, I waited for my ride-share.

Then, a woman who seemed frazzled approached me. Her phone wasn’t working, and she was trying to see if her friend could pick her up. She asked if she could use my phone or even if we could share a ride. My skeptic side immediately considered her a threat: Is she going to steal my phone in front of me and run? Is this a long con with the ride-share driver to kidnap me? (Yes, my mind is a wonderful place to be.)

But then she said, “Thank you so much; I know it’s scary to do anything for a stranger nowadays,” and shared that she was in town for her sister’s funeral. Her stop was on the way, and it was hard to say no.

To make a long story short, she ended up riding with me (worry not, I shared my location with multiple people), offering to split the fare. When she asked how much it cost, I shrugged, looked at the newly estimated $35 with her new stop, and said, “I don’t know, maybe $15-$20?”

She handed me a wad of $30 in cash. I tried to say that it was too much, but she insisted. And just like that (Carrie Bradshaw voice), my once-”costly” ride was now essentially free—and an interesting story.

I share this because I think it aptly surmises how I feel around money. Avid listeners of The Money with Katie Show have likely heard me explain this firsthand, but unlearning your scarcity mindset around money requires a years-long deconstruction, and it tends to come out the most when I travel. And yet, paradoxically, it ended up not even being something to worry about at the end.

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Safely nestled in at Alyssa’s home an hour or so later, she shared a story about her friend who, upon being laid off, spent the summer on a farm in the Sierra Nevadas in an immersive cooking school.

How cool, I mused aloud, to just go do something for yourself in the present—instead of worrying about how you’ll afford the future. I could never.

And I never did. When I was laid off in 2017, I spent nearly the entire summer worrying about rent or pet meds or groceries. A very real, very valid concern.

And yet, again, my worry all ended up for naught, as I found a job a few months later.

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In my day-to-day life, I don’t spend lavishly; I work from home, I eat my meals at home, I buy responsibly in bulk from Costco. I diligently refresh my Copilot app multiple times a day, immediately filing every purchase into its respective category (to the dismay of my husband; hi honey, love ya!).

When I’m traveling though, “spending” becomes an inescapable part of my brain. I constantly veer between “you’ll never be 30 again” and “well, being smart with that money now means I can do 3x as much at 45.” But as we’ve said on the show before, all money is technically deferred spending. All money is meant to be spent.

So why torture myself over the smallest decisions? Why hoard my Chase miles, rationing them out like a $5 allowance? Why—time and again—pick one of the cheaper wines at a fancy dinner? Why always opt for the “cost-effective” Airbnb, when the slightly splurgy hotel would have been much more comfortable and convenient?

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Of course, this might just be me—but I sense that, in this community centered around travel and self-exploration and money, I’m likely not alone. And there are obviously people who have the opposite approach with money, spending all their annual savings for a Croatian yacht for a week.

But—and there’s a big caveat in being mostly financial responsible most of the time—what if we spent on our adventures like the core memories that they will one day become?

What if, instead of spending that summer I was laid off frenzied about future rent and retirement, I had spent my time expanding my skills or, I don’t know, living my present-day life? What if I actually used my 200,000+ miles for a Business Class trip one day, versus my repeated Basic Economy flights and 15,000 mile redemptions, no seats included?

After all, the time I spent this morning stressing about my second ride-share ended up being a complete waste—well, that, and a good blog post. And I suppose that’s worth the spend, too.

• 👀 Speaking of getting the most bang for your buck mile (read: so you can continue hoarding miles), all of this month’s bonus transfers are pretty impressive.

• 🌉 We went here tonight for vegan xiaolongbao, and while they were good, highly, highly recommend the vegetarian potstickers. Did not look at the prices here, promise. (And probably going here for breakfast, where I am eyeing the Kaya toast with coconut-pandan jam and Maldon sea salt. Um, yes please.)

• 📷 This travel blog. That’s it, that’s the caption.

• 👖 I wear these pants at least once a week, and on almost every flight. Cozy, stretchy, with pockets, and originally found secondhand on ThredUp.

I don’t have the answers, but I’d love to know yours: Where do you all land on the balance beam of YOLO spending vs. FOMO saving (sorry, I had to)? More to come next week!

Oh, and one more question…

—Henah

weekend mood // credit